I’m on vacation this week in Cancun, and as I walked the beach yesterday, I thought about all the regrets in my life. But this time, rather than lament about wrong choices and missed opportunities, I thought about God and what Jesus did for me at the cross.

Living with regret is dishonoring to my loved ones and to God. I look back at my life and think of alternative choices I could have made, but I wouldn’t have everything I have today: my family, my husband, my friends, and my church.

I thought, what does my instruction manual say about regret?

• John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I come that they have life and have it abundantly.
• Proverbs 3:6 – In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
• Genesis 50:20 – As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.
• Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good for those who love him, who have been called to his purpose.

Some people live their whole life living with regret, but I’m not going to be one of them. I choose to live my life looking forward, and not dwelling in the past. Does anyone care to join me?

(I will post my video tomorrow if the sun is shining)

(This is an edited version from yesterday’s post. I removed my video due to confidentiality reasons)

Lately, I feel like I’ve taken God for granted and somehow I’ve arrived at a place where I haven’t appropriately thanked God for what he has done in my life. I’m a huge Raider’s fan. And I’m ashamed to say I’m more demonstrative over a touchdown than I am for God’s answer to prayers. This past week has changed my attitude, and I’m sitting here in tears being reminded of God’s grace.

I attend a women’s Bible Study on Wednesday nights at my church. I sit at a table with seven other women who share life, hopes, and struggles.  All of us are believing that God will answer our prayers, and as usual, God has shown himself faithful.

God’s timing is always perfect, and he doesn’t just answer prayers, he renews faith and hope while he does the “extraordinary.”

Remember when I said I wanted to be a prayer warrior a few months ago? Well, I can’t be a prayer warrior if I forget to pray first and ask God for help in all things. I’m reminded in Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

God, the creator of the universe, has riches beyond compare, and he never tires of answering prayers. In Philippians 4:19, the Bible says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

God is worthy of my praise, my love, my devotion, and my confidence. I pray that I will never forget what God has done for me and my loved ones. I gave God a huge shout-out today because he’s far worthier than a football team.

Today, Mark and I took our almost 3-year old granddaughter Devyn to Storyland. It was the first time we’d taken her on an adventure without her older sisters. She was such a joy! We took her on various rides, and watched her as she grew more confident and enjoyed herself with total abandon. And finally at the end of the day she laid down on the grass without even thinking about ants or anything creepy or crawling.

Of course we took pictures and looked on as proud grandparents. We’re sure she’s an exceptional child. And I like to think that’s how God sees us—we are all his exceptional children. In fact, we’re all called to become like little children to enter heaven.

Matthew 18:2-3 says, “He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Mark 10:13-16 says, “People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.”

But how do we change our outlook and behavior to become more like little children? After observing Devyn today, I think I may have a hint. She didn’t see people of different ethnicities, she just saw people. She didn’t make any class distinctions, she just saw people. In fact, she didn’t make any judgements about people at all. She just enjoyed life and trusted that Mark and I would take care of her. Maybe God would like all of his children to enjoy life, not make any judgements about his other children, and trust him in the same way.

This is easy to write, but much harder to live. How do I turn off my judgement switch and start to live a life that God intended for me? With prayer and asking God for help in this area of my life!

Year after year I’ve struggled to be a published writer. Maybe my motivation is all wrong. I’ve dreamed of being on the New York Times Best Seller list for decades, and I’m no closer to that dream than when I started my first novel when I was 21 years old. Sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted 38 years of dreaming, hoping, starting a new novel only to discard it out of boredom, and praying for God to give me a miracle in this area of my life.

How many of us are waiting on God for a divine word? Are we expecting a voice from heaven? Or a message on a billboard? Or perhaps the lyrics of a song to touch our heart? I know I’d like a huge neon billboard flashing God’s will for my life.

I’ve gone to my instruction manual on this area of my life. I know God has a plan for me. So, why not share it with me, God? Do any of you feel the same way?

We all have dreams. Some may seem outlandish, and some may seem quite ordinary. But God’s calling is neither—our dreams are perfect. In Romans 11:29 it says, “for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.” That’s great news for me and for you! God will never take away the gifts he’s given to each of us, nor will he ever abandon us.

The epiphany I came to this week is: God wants me to do my part. If I truly have a desire and a talent in this area, then I need to sit my butt down in the chair and write. I have a drawer full of research for various novels I’ve started and discarded because, well, they just weren’t very good. I’ve spent more time researching than writing. Maybe this fact tells me a lot about myself, too. I don’t want to put in the hard work of writing. I suppose I think if I research enough, the book will write itself. And worse still, I want God to perform a miracle and just hand me what I want on a silver platter.

In 2 Thessalonians 1:11 I found this nugget of gold, “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.”

So, this past week I took time to be proactive in my writing career and actually wrote the first chapter of my book. And you know what? I felt pretty good about myself and the steps I’m taking. I’m choosing to believe that if I do my part, God will be faithful to do his.

For the past 90 days, I’ve been studying Beth Moore’s “David—90 Days With a Heart Like His” in the hopes of changing my own heart to look more like his. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Perhaps I wanted my heart to change by reading about David and his love for God, rather than spending time with God myself.

Much has been written about David—the humble shepherd boy who slew Goliath, the warrior king who could write like no one before or since, and the passionate man who danced mightily for our Lord. No wonder God loved him so.

But David also made wrong choices. He committed adultery with Bathsheba. He tried to cover up her unwanted pregnancy by scheming to arrange for her husband to sleep with her in an attempt to hide his parentage. When that didn’t work, he ordered her husband sent to the front of the battle field where he was killed. And God still loved him.

There were consequences to his actions, and even in his sorrow, David worshipped and praised God.

This morning, I read 1 Chronicles 28:9, “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought.” This stopped me in my tracks. God searches my heart and understands my every desire and thought and I cringed at what he might find there.

But then I saw a ray of hope. I have Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I’m so thankful for that. Reading the Bible, memorizing scripture, living a Christian life is all important. But I think the condition of my heart is more important. This week I plan to do my own version of an EKG on my heart. I’ll let you all know its condition next week.