(This is an edited version from yesterday’s post. I removed my video due to confidentiality reasons)

Lately, I feel like I’ve taken God for granted and somehow I’ve arrived at a place where I haven’t appropriately thanked God for what he has done in my life. I’m a huge Raider’s fan. And I’m ashamed to say I’m more demonstrative over a touchdown than I am for God’s answer to prayers. This past week has changed my attitude, and I’m sitting here in tears being reminded of God’s grace.

I attend a women’s Bible Study on Wednesday nights at my church. I sit at a table with seven other women who share life, hopes, and struggles.  All of us are believing that God will answer our prayers, and as usual, God has shown himself faithful.

God’s timing is always perfect, and he doesn’t just answer prayers, he renews faith and hope while he does the “extraordinary.”

Remember when I said I wanted to be a prayer warrior a few months ago? Well, I can’t be a prayer warrior if I forget to pray first and ask God for help in all things. I’m reminded in Matthew 7:7-8, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

God, the creator of the universe, has riches beyond compare, and he never tires of answering prayers. In Philippians 4:19, the Bible says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

God is worthy of my praise, my love, my devotion, and my confidence. I pray that I will never forget what God has done for me and my loved ones. I gave God a huge shout-out today because he’s far worthier than a football team.

 

Today, Mark and I took our almost 3-year old granddaughter Devyn to Storyland. It was the first time we’d taken her on an adventure without her older sisters. She was such a joy! We took her on various rides, and watched her as she grew more confident and enjoyed herself with total abandon. And finally at the end of the day she laid down on the grass without even thinking about ants or anything creepy or crawling.

Of course we took pictures and looked on as proud grandparents. We’re sure she’s an exceptional child. And I like to think that’s how God sees us—we are all his exceptional children. In fact, we’re all called to become like little children to enter heaven.

Matthew 18:2-3 says, “He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Mark 10:13-16 says, “People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.”

But how do we change our outlook and behavior to become more like little children? After observing Devyn today, I think I may have a hint. She didn’t see people of different ethnicities, she just saw people. She didn’t make any class distinctions, she just saw people. In fact, she didn’t make any judgements about people at all. She just enjoyed life and trusted that Mark and I would take care of her. Maybe God would like all of his children to enjoy life, not make any judgements about his other children, and trust him in the same way.

This is easy to write, but much harder to live. How do I turn off my judgement switch and start to live a life that God intended for me? With prayer and asking God for help in this area of my life!

Year after year I’ve struggled to be a published writer. Maybe my motivation is all wrong. I’ve dreamed of being on the New York Times Best Seller list for decades, and I’m no closer to that dream than when I started my first novel when I was 21 years old. Sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted 38 years of dreaming, hoping, starting a new novel only to discard it out of boredom, and praying for God to give me a miracle in this area of my life.

How many of us are waiting on God for a divine word? Are we expecting a voice from heaven? Or a message on a billboard? Or perhaps the lyrics of a song to touch our heart? I know I’d like a huge neon billboard flashing God’s will for my life.

I’ve gone to my instruction manual on this area of my life. I know God has a plan for me. So, why not share it with me, God? Do any of you feel the same way?

We all have dreams. Some may seem outlandish, and some may seem quite ordinary. But God’s calling is neither—our dreams are perfect. In Romans 11:29 it says, “for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable.” That’s great news for me and for you! God will never take away the gifts he’s given to each of us, nor will he ever abandon us.

The epiphany I came to this week is: God wants me to do my part. If I truly have a desire and a talent in this area, then I need to sit my butt down in the chair and write. I have a drawer full of research for various novels I’ve started and discarded because, well, they just weren’t very good. I’ve spent more time researching than writing. Maybe this fact tells me a lot about myself, too. I don’t want to put in the hard work of writing. I suppose I think if I research enough, the book will write itself. And worse still, I want God to perform a miracle and just hand me what I want on a silver platter.

In 2 Thessalonians 1:11 I found this nugget of gold, “With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith.”

So, this past week I took time to be proactive in my writing career and actually wrote the first chapter of my book. And you know what? I felt pretty good about myself and the steps I’m taking. I’m choosing to believe that if I do my part, God will be faithful to do his.

For the past 90 days, I’ve been studying Beth Moore’s “David—90 Days With a Heart Like His” in the hopes of changing my own heart to look more like his. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Perhaps I wanted my heart to change by reading about David and his love for God, rather than spending time with God myself.

Much has been written about David—the humble shepherd boy who slew Goliath, the warrior king who could write like no one before or since, and the passionate man who danced mightily for our Lord. No wonder God loved him so.

But David also made wrong choices. He committed adultery with Bathsheba. He tried to cover up her unwanted pregnancy by scheming to arrange for her husband to sleep with her in an attempt to hide his parentage. When that didn’t work, he ordered her husband sent to the front of the battle field where he was killed. And God still loved him.

There were consequences to his actions, and even in his sorrow, David worshipped and praised God.

This morning, I read 1 Chronicles 28:9, “And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every desire and every thought.” This stopped me in my tracks. God searches my heart and understands my every desire and thought and I cringed at what he might find there.

But then I saw a ray of hope. I have Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, and I’m so thankful for that. Reading the Bible, memorizing scripture, living a Christian life is all important. But I think the condition of my heart is more important. This week I plan to do my own version of an EKG on my heart. I’ll let you all know its condition next week.

 

Have you ever been caught in a conversation, either on the phone or in person, and asked a question that you couldn’t answer because you hadn’t been listening? In the world of multi-tasking, isn’t it easy to nod your head and continue to multi-task while someone is talking to you? Oh, my dear sistas, I stand guilty.

The art of listening is difficult at best. In James 1:19, it says, “Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” What wise words! If I would give 100 percent of my attention to listening rather than day dreaming or doing some unimportant task, my life would be much richer and easier.

This would have especially come in handy when I was raising Phillip and Monica. But I was too busy to sit down, look them in the eye, and ask them open-ended questions. My regret? I could have made their lives so much richer and easier, too.

Maybe I’m the only person who suffers from the need to be heard, rather than the woman who wants to listen. I want to be the wife who listens to her husband with empathy and love, the mother who listens to her children and understand exactly what they’re going through because I’ve been in the same situation; I want to be the grandmother who listens and offers advice and wisdom to her grandchildren; and I want to be the friend who listens without taking the entire conversation over.

But most of all I want to love unconditionally, listen to my loved ones, think before speaking (that’s a whole other blog), and be slow to anger. Can I get a big, “I’m with ya sister?”

Have you ever screened your telephone calls? Or not answered a door bell when you’ve suspected the person wanted to sell you something? Or walked the other way when you’ve seen someone you didn’t want to talk to at the grocery store?

I think we all have at one time or another. But lately I’ve been thinking a bit differently about these interactions. What if God was orchestrating a divine appointment? What if we had just the right words to comfort a friend, or to share the good news of Jesus, or to just listen to someone who needed to let off some steam?

I’ve never thought of myself as wise or a biblical scholar. I mean, surely God would choose someone other than me to use for his purposes. But in this past year as I’ve written this blog, I’ve noticed that God uses ordinary people just like me. I’ve had friends and family comfort me, encourage me, chastise me, and love me.

That’s how God works. He uses all of us just where we’re at. We don’t have to be perfect or a biblical powerhouse. We just have to be us. I can totally relate to 1 Corinthians 1:26-27, “Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world’s eyes or powerful or wealthy when God called you. Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.

I’m so thankful that God shows no partiality and that he can use someone like me—and you.

It is exactly midnight, so I’m calling it a day and will post my video tomorrow.

Have you ever prayed for something and been disappointed with the result?

About three weeks ago I sent a short story to a mystery magazine. I knew it needed to be revised, but I didn’t want to invest any additional time to the project. So I sent it off and prayed that an editor would find my story interesting enough to help with the edits.

I think you can guess what happened next. My story was rejected and I felt dejected. I stewed about this for about two hours, asking God why? Didn’t He want me to be successful? Didn’t He give me the desire to write?

And then it hit me like a sledgehammer. I hadn’t given my best, so why should I expect God to give me his best?  Just because I know He has plans for me and wants to give me my hearts desire doesn’t mean I can be a slacker.

As God’s daughter, there is a higher expectation for me. Not only should I be a light in the world, but I should be a shining example of integrity and character.

I wanted the reward without doing my part. I was disappointed in myself. My disappointment with God eventually landed where it should–with me. Can anyone relate?

I look forward to my birthday every year, perhaps it’s because I tend to celebrate it for an entire month! But this year, my birthday feels different. I didn’t realize it was my birthday until two days ago. Maybe it’s because I’m retired and have free time, or maybe it’s because I’m getting older and the years that tick by don’t seem so important anymore.

I woke up this morning to my husband singing happy birthday, reading well wishes on Facebook from family and friends, and flowers being delivered to my door from Phillip and Noah. Quite a morning to start my special day!

But…I realized on my 50th birthday that I’m now past the midway point in my life. And with that realization came those nagging questions that want to crush my dreams and steal my joy. Questions like: “Is this all I’ve accomplished?” “Am I still relevant?” and “Do I still have anything to contribute?”

And this is when the warrior within me rises up and refuses to listen. I still have dreams that I want to see to fruition. I have skills and abilities that can be used in ways I never thought possible. There’s an entire younger generation that I can pour into.

God has made a few promises that I can claim as his adopted daughter.

• Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

• Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Look therefore carefully how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise; redeeming the time, because the days are evil.”

• Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

• Psalm 20:6 says, “Now this I know: The LORD gives victory to his anointed.”

As my birthday comes to a close, I can remember that God has a plan and future for all of us, He is redeeming the time for all of us, and He’s given victory to all of us. And that, my dear sisters, is reason to celebrate!

Although I know Jesus is my Lord and Savior, I’ve come to know him by his humility and wisdom. In the gospels, we see Jesus as a humble servant, healer, and protector. This is the Jesus that I know and love.

But I feel like I’m not giving Jesus his just due. I know in my mind that Jesus is the King of Kings, but I also want to feel this in my heart and soul. Perhaps I’ve read too many novels, but when I think of a King, I think of King Arthur and the Knights of the Roundtable. Men in their suits of armor, riding on their mighty destriers, to save King and Country.

I’d like to share how Revelation 19:11-17 describes the second coming of Christ:

I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice he judges and wages war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron scepter.” He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS.

These passages fire my imagination, as I hope they do yours. I invite you to join me this week as I think about the Warrior Jesus, who will once again protect his people but in a much different role.

 

We are celebrating my mother’s 89th birthday tomorrow and I have so much to be thankful for. Proverbs 22:6 directs parents to “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” And my mother did that and more.

Ever since I can remember, my mother has always been in my corner—encouraging me, believing in me, and most of all loving me.

I had a speech impediment when I was young, and a horrible lisp, which made it difficult for people to understand what I was saying. Thankfully, I started working with a speech therapist when I began first grade. Every day after school my mother would patiently go through all the “speech” drills I was given for the week. Every single day my mother encouraged me to be better and that never stopped.

During my “dark years” as a single parent, I would take long walks with my Mom when my children were with their father. I treasure the memory of those walks, when I would pour out my hopes and dreams, my failures and disappointments. My mother would listen patiently, offering advice but never judging my mistakes.

I’ve tried to emulate my mother by being a loving, patient mother to my own children. But there will never be anyone quite like her.

There are so many children in the world who aren’t loved or cared for. This is heartbreaking, because I’ve been blessed with a loving and caring mother. I can’t imagine my life without this strong, intelligent, loving woman who God chose to be my mother.